De toda la gente que me ha podido enviar un correo, ninguno me ha emocionado más que este. ¡El FBI! Me imagino al agente Mulder, castigado a enviar correos electrónicos a víctimas de corrruptos (seguro que el Fumador estaba detrás de todo) para evitar que siga investigando y desbaratando los planes de esos malvados marcianos abducidores. Mirad, mirad, yo casi no puedo verlo, con las lágrimas de emoción nublando mis ojos:
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI. WASHINGTON DC.ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
Series of meetings have been held over the past 7 months with the secretary general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago. It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of $3.5,000,000,00 Million us dollars due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your fund.
The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate to the current Governor of Washington DC his Excellency Governor Jay Inslee to boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owned to you and other individuals and organizations who have been found not to have receive their Contract Sum, Lottery/Gambling,Inheritance and the likes. Now how would you like to receive your payment? Because we have two method of payment which is by Check or by ATM card?
ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you will use to withdraw up to $10,000 per day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card Logo on it and the card have to be renewed in 4 years time which is 2018. Also with the ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your local bank account. The ATM card comes with a handbook or manual to enlighten you about how to use it. Even if you do not have a bank account.
Check: To be deposited in your bank for it to be cleared within three working days. Your payment would be sent to you via any of your preferred option and would be mailed to you via UPS. Because we have signed a contract with UPS which should expire in next three weeks you will only need to pay $380 instead of $720 saving you $340 So if you pay before the three weeks 2014 you save $340 Take note that anyone asking you for some kind of money above the usual fee is definitely a fraudsters and you will have to stop communication with every other person if you have been in contact with any. Also remember that all you will ever have to spend is $380.00 nothing more! Nothing less! And we guarantee the receipt of your fund to be successfully delivered to you within the next 24 hrs after the receipt of payment has been confirmed.
Note: Everything has been taken care of by the Federal Government of Washington DC, The United Nation and also the United State FBI and including taxes, UPS Courier service delivery fee so all you will ever need to pay is $380 Us Dollars. Do not send money to anyone until you read this and have heard from me. The actual fees for shipping your ATM card is $720 but because UPS have temporarily discontinued the C.O.D which gives you the chance to pay when package is delivered for international shipping We had to sign contract with them for bulk shipping which makes the fees reduce from the actual fee of $720 to $380 nothing more and no hidden fees of any sort!
To effect the release of your fund valued at $3.5 Million us dollars you are advised to contact our correspondent in Washington DC the delivery officer Mr. Mark Ruben with the information below!
Name: Mr. Mark Ruben
You are advised to contact him with the information's as stated below:
Your full Name............
Preferred Payment Method............... (ATM card / Cashier Checque)
Upon receipt of payment the delivery officer will ensure that your package is sent within 24 working hours. Because we are so sure of everything we are giving you a 100% money back guarantee if you do not receive payment package within the next 24 hrs after you have made the payment for shipping.
And make sure that you keep the receipt of the $380 payment that you made because that is the prove you will show to the delivery team when they arrive at your door step with your package of delivery.
Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM card, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Mark Ruben of the ATM card payment center who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM card payment and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation.
Supreme Court of the United States
U. S. Courts of Appeals
U. S. District Courts
U. S. Circuit Courts
Courts of Special Jurisdiction:
Court of Claims, 1855 - 1982
U. S. Court of Federal Claims, 1982 -
Customs Court, 1890 - 1980
U. S. Court of Customs and Patent Appeals, 1910 - 1982
U. S. Court of International Trade, 1980 -
Commerce Court, 1910 - 1913
Courts of the District of Columbia
Temporary Emergency Court of Appeals
Judicial Panel on Multi-District Litigation
Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court
Federal Courts Outside the Judiciary.
Note: This email fully under supervision of the FBI and will be until you have your ATM card at your door step, so kindly follow the instruction and have this Card delivered to your address without any more delay by paying the UPS Courier Delivery service fee and send to United State FBI Approved officer Mark Ruben As stated above.
Miss Donna Gwen
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-00
Claro, que luego resulta que Mulder, el muy zorrón, resulta no ser tan trigo limpio como parecía.
Ay, Mulder, tú antes molabas...
En otro orden de cosas, voy a tener un invierno bastante ocupado. Me he "preinscrito" en un curso de escritura creativa o de corte y confección (en el que me admitan, si me admiten en los dos, renunciaría al corte y confección por este año) y en un curso de inglés (Nivel 0, de momento, que no creo que mi sabiduría adquirida viendo series y oyendo canciones en versión original sirva de mucho). Ya os contaré mis aventuras si me admiten.
Por cierto, hablando de aventuras, el "caso Pitonisa" está casi visto para sentencia. Y se busca a un santero desesperadamente.
Que digo yo, a lo mejor en lugar de gastarse tanta pasta en la pitonisa, si el tipo hubiera ido de cara con la chica habría conseguido algo. Pero peor es lo del que contrató a un santero. ¡Cojones, que los Hombres Sin Rostro tampoco cobran tanto! Aunque claro, uno que ante una puesta de cuernos opta por un asesinato en lugar de por un divorcio, tampoco es que esté muy bien de la azotea...
Qué paranormal me ha salido todo, jijiji.